Many of you have stuck around and have seen how much my life has changed in the last two years! Finishing grad school, going into a postdoc, and now my first “real” job; and I have nothing but gratitude for all the blessings and dreams that have come into fruition. The funny thing is that many of you look at me and think “hey, she has this all figured out and knows exactly what is coming next!” The reality is, I don’t. If you would have asked me 2 years ago or even a year ago that I would be working at Child Trends, I would have laughed and said that you are crazy! What I want to share with you in this blog is that life is constantly changing. The one thing I have learned in my awakening to my authentic self is that the one constant in this life is change. Understanding this simple concept about change has helped me embrace my life through a different perspective. One where I let go of control and trust God, the Universe (or whoever you believe in), because life has always had a way of working things out more perfectly than I could have ever imagined. Today I am going to share a series of mini stories so you can understand what I mean. Mini Story #1 Last summer, I actually started applying to a lot of government jobs because I was told that it can take 6-9 months from start to finish. And I wanted to give myself plenty of time to land the federal job I have been dreaming of since I completed my first federal internship as a graduate student. If you are at all familiar with government jobs, the first step of the process is to submit all your materials and an “assessment” of your skills to determine if you are “qualified” for the job. I put all these terms in quotation marks because it is a rigid way of trying to get a job, where it works in favor of folks who are already doing these government jobs. So I kept submitting applications and kept getting emails that I was not “qualified”. And this was the result for months! I was not discouraged because I had plenty of time to figure this out. I was also paying attention to jobs outside of the federal government just to keep my options open. Sure enough, I saw the opening for Child Trends and said to myself I have nothing to lose by submitting my application, so I did. In the process, I had been found qualified for a federal job, but had not heard anything more than that. Radio silence for a few weeks on the job front, so I decided to pause because again I was early in the game. Sure enough a few weeks went by and it's like EVERYONE wanted to interview me! I had two interviews for federal jobs and I had an interview with Child Trends. I scheduled interviews and just went through the process of seeing if any of these options were a good fit for me. Because a wise mentor told me that interviews aren't only what I have to offer an organization, but also what they can offer me. I kept with this mentality because I was in no rush or pressure to find the “right job” yet. Sure enough, I did all the interviews and to my surprise one of the jobs just felt right, but it was hard to admit to myself. Finally, all the job offers started pouring in and I was questioning what to do next. For the last few years all I had talked about was landing a federal job and becoming a fed. My dream was to walk in the hallways in the U.S. Department of Education as a federal employee. And now my gut was telling me that Child Trends was actually the best fit. I was shaken because even logically looking at the offers and what I would do for the federal government vs. what I would do at Child Trends, the answer seemed easy. But it wasn’t because my dream for so long was to be fed as I had described. I had to swallow the pill and accept that my plans, aspirations, and dreams can change and are always ever evolving as I myself evolve as a person. Scared out of my mind and trying to buy time to choose the “right” job I finally had to make the choice. I made the scary choice of going against what I had “planned” and accepted the Child Trends job. I have officially hit my 90 days at Child Trends and I can tell you my gut was right, this job was it! I am happy where I am at and can see in just this short time why this job is exactly what I need in my current stage of life and career. Alas change is scary, but not a bad thing. Mini Story #2 Fall 2018, I had just finished my first internship at the U.S Department of Education. I came back to grad school with this new found passion and confidence in what the future had for me because I had made the commitment that I was not going to pursue an academic career, I was headed full force into the non-academic world. I was loud and confident about these new found plans. I was not afraid of this authentic part of myself that I had just discovered or to share it with everyone around me. People were so taken aback by this new me that I was even labeled a “rule breaker” because I was out here following my own path and not the one expected of me. And because I was being authentic, not even the “rule breaker” label could shake. I was on top of the world. Fast forward to Spring 2020, as many of you recall in a blog I shared a year ago (find it here if you are curious), my literal academic world fell apart. I was thrown in to re-proposing my dissertation and changing the scope of work I was going to pursue. In the midst of that, I was in full swing with non-academic job applications and applying to the SRCD Federal Policy Postdocs (state and federal). The major hurdle with my dissertation honestly made me question everything I was doing and even all the amazing dreams for my career in the non-academic world. In the end, everything worked out. I finished in the summer (as previously planned), landed the SRCD federal policy postdoc, and moved on and out of State College! The change in plans with the dissertation showed me that often life throws curves balls in the plans and we have NO CONTROL over that. Alas even when I had no control on how things were going to turn out, the trails that came with it made me stronger and the empowered woman I am today. Mini Story #3 This story is a major throwback and a good one for all of you starting grad school this fall! It was August 2015, little 22 year old Lorena had just arrived in State College, PA with nothing but three suitcases and a little heart full of dreams (see full story here). It was the first time ever that I was more than 2,000 miles away from home and with no single soul that could come to my rescue should I have needed comfort or support. The only thing that comforted me in that moment was believing that I had somehow made the right choice even though it didn’t feel like it then. Everything was new, foriegn, and just weird. I had nothing familiar to lean on or console me. I had to blindly keep stepping forward knowing that this all would somehow work out. And it was hard! I remember crying alone, really questioning what I had willingly decided to do with my future! Had I made the right decision? Was I really going to survive without everything familiar near me? My first semester went by slow and fast at the same time. I had survived but the level of discomfort was next level. I knew deep down that I had made the right choice so I had to keep holding on to that belief that this change was for my highest good and was leading me right exactly where I needed to be. And it did… fast forward I finished grad school, met my husband, and now I am working a job I could have only ever dreamed of! Once again, a change that I choose to make, while again scary reminds me of how beautiful change can be. I shared these mini stories with you because our lives are constantly changing! Things are always shifting whether it is by our own doing and choices, or because life has other plans for us. Reflecting on these stories with you all reminds me that I don’t have to have everything all figured out. As long as I am following my heart and my dreams, it always seems to work out. And usually better than I could have ever planned! So what does this mean for your life as a graduate student or as a professional? It means that you should not be afraid of change. We are constantly told that there is a “path” or a “right way” to get to our destination, but that isn’t the case. The path has to be created by you because there is only one of you. How that path turns out can only be formulated by you! Do you have an interest in trying a job that is way different from what you are doing now? Go for it! Are you interested in blogging but academics don’t really do that, do it anyway! You have an unconventional way you want to portray or pursue your research question, go do it! There is a reason why you are having these creative thoughts, ideas, and desires because they are meant to set you apart and help you reach that destination that you are searching for. I also think we should be more open and vulnerable about how change affects us. Because often we expect change to be this nice, fun, experience especially when we are the ones actively choosing the change, but that's not always the case. We feel that when change is not “beautiful” we are failing or inherently doing things wrong. As you can see from my stories, change can be hard and even painful, but that does not mean it wasn’t the right thing to do. Change can honestly just suck sometimes, and imagine if we bonded over change how much closer we would be as human beings. The reality is sometimes we need the fear and pressure to continue evolving into the people we are meant to be. There is a reason change is always constant. It is about time that we use change to our advantage and that we grow and transform into the beautiful beings we are meant to be. I believe in you! You got this! Comments are closed.
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AuthorDr. Lorena Aceves unapologetically telling you the real deal about being brown in an academic world, but deciding she is going to be her authentic self and make her wildest dreams come true en esta vida! Archives
November 2022
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