This month my blog is a little different, I am going to tell you a little story that changed my life. And I am also using this as an appreciation for the person who is the protagonist in this story. It was Fall 2015, I had just made my way to graduate school. Iit was my first semester at Penn State. I was excited, I was scared, I was all kinds of emotions. The reality was that I was struggling to find my place after finally 4 years at University of Arizona feeling like I took up space there and felt proud of it. And now, all of the sudden, by choice, I rip myself from that space into the abyss, the unknown of PSU. In my efforts to find that sense of belonging again, I connected with the director of diversity and equity in my college. She told me that in October there would be a recruitment event in which I could participate in and talk to students about applying to Penn State and graduate school in general. Of course I jumped at the opportunity because I LOVE connecting with other students. Weeks went by and it was finally to help with the recruitment event. Students were coming to visit Penn State from all across the country. It was so amazing to see other students excited about the prospect of attending graduate school. And then I saw her… August. She was sitting amongst the group but something about her caught my eye. She was smart, confident, and so sure about her intention to go to graduate school. I could see it in how she spoke and in the pep in her step. Of course being Lorena, I approached her and got talking to her. She told me she was finishing her Bachelor's at MSU and we really connected over random things. During that whole recruitment weekend, I remember her being my favorite and I encouraged her to stay connected in case she needed help with the application process to PSU. Of course, little Miss August did contact me to look at her personal statement. I was so excited about the prospect of her coming to PSU because I could already sense that we would be friends… what I did not anticipate is that she would become more like a sister to me. Fast forward to February 2016, August got into PSU and was coming to our visit weekend. I was so excited to see her again, especially because she had already committed to coming to PSU!! So now we really got to know each other and talk about her plans for when she would join us in the Fall. Naturally, I was assigned to be her first year buddy and this assignment unfolded into me becoming an unofficial mentor for August. We would check-in regularly. I would also go check if she was in her office just to see how her days were going. I always remember complaining to her about how cold it was during the winter and she would laugh at me because you know she is a Michigan native. I remember these small and meaningful interactions because it is what brought us closer and closer together. And as the program years seemed to fly by, we bonded even more over our shared experiences of women of color and getting to go to the NCFR conference together where we would always be roommates! Yes, August had to deal with peppy Lorena at 7am haha, although I am sure annoying I think she appreciated my excitement early in the morning during our conference trips. And then somewhere in my 5th year of graduate school and August’s 4th year, it hit me, August had become more than just a friend and fellow grad student; this woman was family to me. I always remember sharing my most exciting and lowest moments with August and even though she was younger, somehow she always knew what to say and was God sent reminding of me how much bigger our FAITH was in even the worst of moments. We always supported each other in research, in academics, in friendship, and most importantly in faith. And August, today, you defended your dissertation. I could not be any more proud of you. All those battles with research and never ending writing assignments are finally paying off. All those battles with a system that constantly fought against you simply because you are Black women are finally settling down. August you are truly the epitome of Black girl magic. I remember when in your first year you felt like you were struggling and trying to find your footing, and I sat you down and reassured you everything would be okay because I knew it would be. August, you are so intelligent, beautiful, and all around amazing human-being. I never doubted this day would come and I would be able to call you Dr. Jenkins. And I am so grateful I get to share in this joy with you and continue to share in your journey into your career as a whole doctora! I hope you know how much of a difference you already have made in my life and that graduate school would have not been the same or possible without you. I love you so much Dr. Jenkins. I still see that little August I met some 7 years ago, except now she has blossomed into a whole doctora ready to take on the world. And I have no doubt Dr. Jenkins that YOU will show the world how it is done. For everyone reading this blog, I shared this story to show you how sometimes amazing relationships come together while you are searching for something else. And never underestimate the power of connecting with others in your programs or communities that could be a difference in your success. I titled this blog powerful you, poederso yo because I think this story shows exactly that… in my efforts to empower August, I also ended up being empowered by her. The more we share love and empowerment with each other the more we all blossom. Take it from me… go out there and be the difference for someone, it could change your life. I think 2021 taught me one of the greatest lessons… to dare to just be ME and to take up a space. For this blog, I am going to tell you all about my journey to landing my first “REAL” big mujer job. I hope this enlightens those out there trying to figure out what to do with their lives or simply on the job market and feeling overwhelmed. Let’s dive in! So, in August 2021 I began to really reflect on what I had learned in the 1st year of Society for Research on Child Development Federal Policy Postdoctoral Fellowship. And this reflection led me to realize how adaptable I am as a person and researcher. For all of those that do not know, my research interests actually focus on the academic experiences of Latinx adolescents and young adults, and yet here I was doing a 360 and diving into the early childhood world! When I interviewed for the fellowship, I honestly doubted that I would even get the fellowship given my interests, but I was committed to a non-academic career and really want to learn about policy spaces especially in terms of advocating for Latinx populations by leveraging research, policy, and practice. And I knew that the fellowship would be PERFECT despite the developmental stage of focus not being exactly what I was doing. Being placed at the Office of Head Start made this experience even more perfect because I was working for a federal program office that once benefitted me (you know being a Head Start alum) and that supports many Latinx children. This reflection made me realize how much of asset I could be for many agencies or organizations given my ability to pivot my researcher hat and apply my skills in diverse ways and then to top that off the fellowship has helped me translate research to policy and practice, which I feel pushes me to whole another level. As I had been reflecting, I had also begun to look up job openings to get an idea what was out there and where I could envision myself going in Fall 2022 when my fellowship would end. At the time, I was committed and believed that I would stay in the federal government because I had been dreaming of being a civil servant. I knew federal jobs took a while to get hired so I started applying for job openings that I saw a fit with my skills, interests, and my reflection. If you know anything about federal jobs, you have to make sure your resume matches the key words in job announcement and that the qualifications that you note in the questionnaire, also align with your resume in order to be deemed qualified. I had been applying and for many jobs, but I was not “qualified” based on the automatic ratings. So, I kept trying because I knew I would eventually be “qualified” for one of these jobs, but at the same I had not completely shut down the idea of working outside of the government. Because I think I learned working for the feds full time that there was still a world of research with the think tanks that I had not delved into yet and could learn a lot from. This is when I came across a job at a research firm with a focus on education, K-12 and higher education precisely. And I forgot to mention that as part of my reflection I realized I wanted to go back to research with adolescents and higher ed. So, when I saw the job opening, I was like why not, there’s nothing to lose, right? Your girl applied. Fast forward a few weeks, the organization hit up your girl for the screener interview. At this point, I was like this is just the first step so nothing to be too excited about. I did the screener interview and I answered all the questions to the best of my ability. I will admit that some of the questions stumped me because screener interviews tend to be very formulaic. After the interview was complete, I had no idea what would happen given that I felt neutral about how it went. Another few weeks went by; I made the second interview. I was stunned because I had no idea how I did on the initial interview! At this time, I was like well I need to start thinking about how I envisioned Lorena at this organization because all my mentors kept reminding me that these interviews were as much about them seeing if I was fit as, it was for me to learn if the organization was a good fit for me. I interviewed… the experience was amazing. I felt like all I had to was be myself. I felt comfortable taking up space (even in this virtual room) and bringing my full self in. I was completely honest about all my responses to the questions. Even when I didn’t have experience doing certain things, I was able to be honest and talk about how I have the skills and experiences to learn! The interview felt like bi-directional conversation and the only other time I felt this way was when I interviewed for the SRCD Postdoctoral Fellowship and that’s when it hit me, I really needed to consider this organization. I was SO SHOCKED because I was convinced, I was staying in the federal government, but I could not ignore my gut and the good feeling I had about this position. PLOT TWIST!! Right after I interviewed with job #1 at the research firm, I got hit up by the U.S. Department of Education (ED) for two different jobs. I was like WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE UNIVERSE. I interviewed two days later for job #2 and a week later for job #3 at ED. Job #2 was clearly not a good fit and I think both the interviewers and I felt that in the interview, which was okay. That is another important lessoned I learned during this process, you could be qualified for a job and even then, it may not be a good fit and you will know when that happens, it’s a gut feeling. Job #3 interview went better! It wasn’t an exact fit, but there was better alignment and I could potentially see myself doing the job. After I completed the all the interviews, I heard from the research firm, I made it to the job talk!! I was like woahhh. Let’s do this!! I did my job talk and it went amazing. I knew as I presented my job talk that my passion really does lie in doing work at the intersection of research, policy, and practice and how this organization may actually be the best place for me to continue to blossom into a poderosa Latina scientist. Meanwhile, ANOTHER PLOT TWIST! I mentioned to a mentor of mine that I was moving forward with these job prospects and my mentor wanted me to interview for the organization they work for, and so I did. I interviewed and presented a job talk for them too. In the interim of all this, I land job #1 with the first research firm AND I land job #3 with ED!! I was like SO SURPRISED because never in million years did, I imagine this, especially with all the crap I went through in grad school and all the crap that people would say and project onto me during that journey. But now I know that anytime anyone says or does anything negative around me it’s really a reflection of their own internal state and says nothing about me. Remember that, it will save you a lot of pain and heartache. Ultimately, I was wheeling and dealing with 3 job offers because my mentor’s organization also wanted to hire me. And this when I entered a space I had never experienced, the negotiations. ED was the highest paying and had 12 weeks paid parental leave which is something to consider given my personal goals, but I was not excited about the job itself and I knew that in my gut. Job #1 with the research firm was my top choice because about how the whole process went, competitive pay, and some parental leave as well. I mean this organization even during the negotiation stage answered all my questions, gave me ample time to make a decision, and even offered to talk through my options to make sure I made an informed decision. I think that in itself speaks volumes about the organization on top of all the great things I heard from all my contacts there. The final option was with my mentor, which was also awesome given the projects I could lead there. What DO I DO? I was asking myself… I went back to Job #1 and asked if they could match the salary for Job #3 at ED. At first, they didn’t want to, given pay equity, which I totally get, but I also wanted to make more than I am making now. And the first offer was pretty much the same amount I make now. I was advised to ask for more and advocate given the unique experiences I have. I asked and I received. I will admit it was very uncomfortable especially as a first-generation woman of color, but I know what I deserve. SO now the job offers were pretty comparable except for the parental leave, but even when I talked to folks at the research firm, they have had very amazing experiences with it so I felt comfortable even it was less. And with my mentor it came down to that they couldn’t match my two other pay offers and well I was shooting for more. After stressing myself out for DAYS, I already knew what my decision had come down to; I would be accepting job #1 with the research firm. And you know what’s funny my gut from the moment all the options showed up was telling me to choose Job #1. Like I already knew that when I tuned out the noise of the world around me. And that is the power of intuitions mis amigis, escucha more often! In the end, I ended where I least expect and even then, I am 100% sure that I made the right choice. I will start my new position in May 2022. I am excited for this new chapter because I know it will grow me in challenging, beautiful, and exciting ways. I am also excited to join an organization full of amazing researchers and all-around human beings. The lesson from this blog son estas:
Eso es todo everyone! I hope sharing these experiences enlightens you to chase after your dreams and apply for that job! Trust that the ideal position or career path will come along for you. And for those not in the job stage of the PhD journey I hope this reminds you that you don’t have to have it all figured out. It is okay to change your mind and keep figuring it out as you go. Just be you and a trust in yourself. Only you know yourself best! Paz y Poder, Lorena It is crazy to think that 2021 is soon coming to a close and that this Doctora is almost 2 years old! Time keeps flying and life keeps teaching me very important lessons. Two things that have really been resonating with me as of lately is how important it is to be yourself and how important relationships with other humans are, both professionally and personally. Let’s dive in! Being Authentically Yourself. As my closest friends and family know, I recently took on the job market since I am in the last year of my postdoctoral fellowship. During the whole process, I always had something in my mind, “what is for me, is for me no matter what!” And what this meant to me was that I am confident enough to know that I am qualified for the jobs I was applying for and now the matter was about matching with the job that was a fit for me. This mentality helped take a lot of pressure off of me and made me see that I do not need to do anything but show up as myself. And in showing up as myself for the interviews and job talks, I trusted that the right opportunity would show up when I least expected it. I admit that this is easier said than done, but when I started to get anxious, I reminded myself of these exact words “what is for me, is for me no matter what!” I also took comfort in talking with mentors and close friends about the process to normalize the anxiety I was feeling. You know, not knowing if you made a good impression or the thought of rejection. These are scary things to think about and it’s okay to admit it, we are human. When I went into the interviews and job talks, I let go of all the anxiety and trusted myself. I trusted in myself because I also only want to work in an organization where I know that all I have to be trusted and respected is to show up as myself. And that’s exactly what I did! How I presented myself, how I talked about myself and my experiences, were all tainted with the Lorena Aceves trademark and I could not be any more proud of myself. It took a lot of internal work for me to get to the point where I could trust myself like this, but when I trust myself I see that it is easier for me and the work I produce is much more beautiful too. Grad school Lorena could never see that because she was constantly being socialized to believe standards set up by dated systems and individuals who do not understand my experience or my goals. So I challenge you to be yourself, even if it is not aligned with what your program tells you, what academia tells you, and most importantly with what the world tells us about success and how to achieve our goals. You need to trust yourself and be yourself, because trust me it gets so much easier. Try it and you will see! Fostering Relationships. I think academia does a great job of telling us that networking is important for our careers and yes, YES it is but it is also more than that. In my short lived career, I see that networking is more than just meeting people for the sake of meeting people, especially with the people that you really vibe with. It is important to go the extra mile and foster relationships with the folks you really vibe with. And yes I mean vibe with. Yes, it is nice and cool to be connected with important and famous individuals, but if they are not living the kind of life you want or you are not inspired by their visions of their lives and their work, do you really want to be connected with them? Exactly! When you meet individuals that inspire you and you vibe with, go the extra mile. There are folks (more senior, at my level or even younger) I have met at conferences that I really connected with and made it a point to follow-up so that I could get to know them even more. This has led to opportunities to be a part of awesome projects, really great mentorship relationships that have been valuable for many reasons, and in some cases have even led to beautiful friendships. In my internships, it was the same thing! I met a ton of great people, and the ones that I really admired and connected with I have continued to stay in touch with and slowly I have seen my circle of individuals I trust and I know I could connect with in the case of needing guidance or pursuing an opportunity become so wide and meaningful. And even most importantly, I have been able to create meaningful relationships with individuals that I really admire and care about. I hope you all know that you mean a lot to me. And I know it is easy to get stuck in our own worlds, especially when work is busy or grad school takes over. Even then, we must have time to connect. First, it can relight your fire if you are feeling stuck or burnt out. Second, it can present an opportunity that you didn’t know you needed. And finally, you get to connect with individuals that really make a difference in your life and who knows you may make a difference in their lives too. So when going the extra mile, do not be afraid to reach out to old and new individuals that you can foster relationships with. And if someone doesn't respond, do not take it personally, you will connect with the right people, at the right time. I truly believe that! Let’s do this! I hope this blog post inspires you to be your authentic self and pushes you to make some new connections especially as many of you begin to interview for grad school, postdocs, or jobs. I believe in you! I want to see you all show up in this world as yourselves, because you have a gift that the world needs!! Please believe it, we need you! PS. If you were curious, I landed a job I am SO SO EXCITED ABOUT! More to come in the future about navigating the job market and pursuing your dreams. Lorena Having experienced a Hispanic Heritage month, where for once I felt like I could feel super proud of who I am and where I come, it got me thinking… I have a lot to be grateful for, especially my parents. In the spirit of gratitude during the month of November, I wanted to share a blog of appreciation for mis padres. There is so much they have done even before I was born that has led to my successes today. Gracias a ellos (thanks to them) I am who and what I am today. Just like many immigrant parents, my parents had a humble beginning in a small town in Michoacan, Mexico. My parents always tell me that they started working at young ages (5-6 years old). Even if they were not making much money, they would work helping the wealthier families in town in the hopes of helping their large families. My mother is one of 10 and the second oldest, so she felt she had to carry a lot of responsibility in caring for her siblings. My father on the other hand was one of the younger siblings (one of 8), but also tried to help out his family as much as he could. And just like that my parents’ spent most of their childhood working towards helping their families and slowly building big dreams for their futures. Even with the responsibility of having to work at such a young age, I could hear the excitement and curiosity that is present in how my parents recount their childhood. By the time they were adolescents, my mom was working full time because her mother did not allow her to continue her education after 7th grade. She told her “why are you going to go to school, if you are simply going to get married and care for children in the future?!”. My mom was upset at this decision because she had saved up her money to buy her textbooks and uniforms. She had every desire to continue her education and learn. My dad on the other hand was able to start high school, but had to drop out due to money issues. By the time my parents were 17-18 years old, they had met and started dating. They actually grew up in the same small town. They simply lived in different barrios (neighborhoods). And this is where their joint decisions begin to lead to my success. My parents dated while they continued to help their families and helped take care of siblings. Fast forward a few years and my dad made the decision to migrate to the United States, and he wanted to take my mom with him. But in order for the plan to work he left first and my parents began the long distance part of their relationship. They both knew this was the best decision to make in order to have a better future than they ever could back in their hometown. For about a year, my parents had a long distance relationship between Mexico and the United States. My parents always recount how expensive it was to simply make a call for a few minutes in the late 80s/ early 90s. This always boggles my mind because now we can pick up the phone, use an app, and pretty much call anywhere in the world! At some point, when I was young I found a stack of letters that they had sent each other during this time. It showed me how committed they were to each other and their shared dream of making a life in the United States. Finally came the point that my mom was ready to go join my dad. My mom made the journey to the United States and first arrived in Arizona. My dad was in Los Angeles, CA, but she went there first because she wanted to stay with family for a bit. Once she took care of business, she reunited with my dad in Inglewood, CA. There, my dad was working as a dishwasher at a hotel near the airport and shortly after got a job as a cook at a local bar. My mom told me that once she arrived in California she and my dad were couch surfing with my aunt and uncles who already lived in the area until they were able to afford their own place. Once they saved up enough money, they were able to rent out someone's tiny garage and that is the first place they ever called home together! Once they felt settled, they decided they wanted to be married to each other. So they got legally married and shortly after my mom became pregnant with me. A few months into the pregnancy with me, they also wanted to honor their families and culture and decided to also have a Catholic wedding (which I got to attend haha). From this point on, they knew their decisions were not only just about them, but about the child they were about to bring into the world. And of course if you want to read what happens next, see my hispanic heritage month blog here: https://ies.ed.gov/blogs/research/2021/09/29/default And today, I am here so proud telling my parents story because if it weren’t for them I would not be who I am today or what I am. As you can see through their story, hard work has been part of the roots from the beginning. Throughout my entire life, my parents have also taught me that I have to be nothing but myself to succeed and that I should never forget where I come from. And because of that I am proud and grateful for my parents. They did the best that they could to open doors of opportunities for me. Their experiences and resilience in life is what fuels me and the work that I do every single day. I think about their humble beginnings and how this is still the experience of many immigrant Latinx families. I see the hope and love that these families still come to this country with and hope to use my family’s heritage to fuel to serve those around me. |
AuthorDr. Lorena Aceves unapologetically telling you the real deal about being brown in an academic world, but deciding she is going to be her authentic self and make her wildest dreams come true en esta vida! Archives
November 2022
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